Writing Friends: Why It’s Important to Have Them and Where to Find Them

Hello, everyone! As many of you know, Camp Nanowrimo is in full swing. For those of you who don’t know what CampNano is, allow me to explain.

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What it should be like.

Formal Definition: Camp Nanowrimo is a an online competition where you try to complete a writing goal that you set for yourself.

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What it’s actually like.

What it’s actually like: FIRE AND CHAOS. WE WRITE SO FAST THERE IS SMOKE ON OUR KEYBOARDS. WE EDIT. WE SCREAM INTO THE ABYSS. Wait, isn’t editing just a scream into the abyss to begin with?

But anyway, one of my favorite parts of Camp Nano is how you’re sorted into cabins. This basically means that you get an awesome group of online writer friends so that the writing suffering is communal.

It got me thinking of how important writer friends are. We think of writing as a solitary activity, but having other people who are interested in, support, and critique your work are vital to the writing experience, whether you’re a novelist, poet, or memoir writer.

So, here are 5 reasons why writer friends are the best, and 5 tips on how to find them. (Because writers have a tendency to be reclusive. Don’t worry if you are too. Even Emily Dickinson had writer friends.)

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1. They Keep You From Going Insane

My friends and I are all writing novels. Here’s the thing about writing a book: It’s a whole entire world. With different characters going about their different lives. You’ve made up romantic relationships, tragic deaths, languages, locations, species, governments, and families.

That’s a lot to carry around in your head.

Even if you’re sharing this world with your word processor, I think you have to let others into your world, even if it’s just the heel of their shoe that goes through the portal. I was very private about my novel project, but I ultimately overcame my reservations and let my friends know what I was working on. When others can acknowledge that your world exists, it seems less overwhelming to work on.

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2. They Understand What You’re Going Through

My writing friends never get tired of me complaining, because chances are, they’re annoyed by the same plot bunnies and character development issues that I am. Writer friends give you a shoulder to cry on when you’re really down, and a boost of inspiration when you’ve cried for long enough.

Plus, for some reason a lot of writers are also bakers so whenever I get together to talk about writing with my friends they bring food?? Writers are full of surprises. The good (and baked with milk chocolate) kind.

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3. They Make Your Writing Better

Although criticism can be difficult to hear, getting feedback from a group of people who genuinely want the best for you and have educated literary opinions is the best way to do it. Often, I’ll have a scene where I’m not quite sure what’s off, but I know that something isn’t working. My writer friends are often able to put their finger on it, and then I can edit, making my work better.

Also, as discussed in #2, there is often food, and I think you’ll find that criticism is never easy, but it doesn’t seem as intimidating when there is friends, intimacy, and cake involved.

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4. You Find Opportunities Through Each Other

You can share opportunities about internships, contests, agents, readings, and more with each other! They say that the publishing world is all connections, so by being friends with other writers, you’ll meet more people.

If you help a writer out on one platform, say blogging, they may be able to help you out on another platform, such as social media. You can also attend super cool literary events together, and spread the news to all your writer friends so that your local poetry readings are all filled up with eager writers.

My friends and I even have a group chat where we send each other clips of poetry. (10/10 would recommend, by the way.)

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5. They’re Your Reading Friends Too

In order to be a writer, you have to read a lot. This comes in handy when you have writer friends. Not only do I get to talk about the book I’m writing, I get to talk about the books I’m reading, too!

It’s like a food club, book club, and Dead Poets Society all rolled into one. They’re my go-to to get book recommendations, and I’m always excited when we’re reading the same book, because then we can share our immense joy about it.

(Or rip it to shreds, depending what book it is. Looking at you, Catcher in the Rye.)

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1. Look Around You

My first group of writing friends came from my school. I met a couple of girls who said that they were working on books, and we ended up creating a writer’s club. If you’re in high school or college, try asking around to see if you can meet other writers, or if there’s a pre-existing writer’s club. If you’re out of school, try meeting people at your library or bookstore. 

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2. Go to Readings and Local Writing Workshops

Pro tip: Try seeking out a local college. Colleges often have poetry readings and writing workshops where you can have a literary adventure and meet new friends. You can also check your local library and seek out writing nonprofits near you.

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3. Attend Writer Conferences

THE ULTIMATE BEEHIVE OF WRITERS. Nowhere else will you find so many literary-enthusiasts. If you can afford to go to writer’s conference, I’d say it’s harder to leave without a writer friend than to leave with one. Just ask them what their favorite book is, and you’ll be BFFs in no time.

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4. In the Blogging Hemisphere

I’ve met so many lovely bloggers who are writers. While it’s true that you should be wary of meeting your internet friends in the real world (Got to remember those elementary school internet safety lessons 😉 ) there’s no reason you can’t chat and support each other through your blogs. Also, you could meet up at a blogger convention. (A safe gathering spot where you can be absolutely sure that your blogger friend is indeed a normal human and not a six-eyed alien who wants to abduct you to teach their planet how Twitter works.)

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5. Online Writing Events

There are plenty of fun online writing events. Take Camp Nanowrimo, for example. You can add buddies, message them, and talk about your projects in forums. (You can find me on Camp Nano here! Feel free to send me a message.) When you’re all trying to complete a semi-crazy writing goal, you bond quickly. (It’s like in Harry Potter, where Ron, Hermoine, and Harry became friends because they defeated a mountain troll with a club and boogers together.)

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Before you go, I have some blog updates.

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First of all, I now have over 700 followers! Thank you all so much for following my blog. I hope you enjoy reading it, and I couldn’t have done it without all of your support. This is my seventh month of serious blogging, though my blog has been up on the web for ten months now. I’m so excited about how much fun blogging has been, and thank you all for following.

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I want to start blogging more frequently, and I thought that a weekly ‘feature’ might be fun. I would give a weekly update of what I was writing, mini reviews of the books I read (I try to read one book a week), and/or a life update, with photos of literary outfits and DIYS. This would be in addition to my big writing advice, big literary DIYS, and complete fashion outfit posts. What do you all think? Would you be interested in reading it? I would love to let you know what’s going on in my writing life (Remember that thing I said about how talking about writing keeps you from going crazy?) and I always wanted to try book reviews!

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Let me know in the comments about what you think of my new blogging plans, how you find writer friends, or if you want to become writer friends! Until next time, you can find me on Pinterest or Instagram.

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19 thoughts on “Writing Friends: Why It’s Important to Have Them and Where to Find Them

  1. May @ Forever and Everly says:

    Omg I LOVE this post! I found three of my very good writer friends through the YWP NaNoWriMo site, and I just LOVE talking about writing with them. I really want to find more IRL writer friends though (I only have a few friends IRL who write). Writing conferences and camps sound so cool! And yaaaaas I LOVE your posts and would love to hear more from you each week!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Quinn says:

    Great job Viv! I know that you were totally talking about me (😉) because I’m your best writing friend and writing a novel, so you know….Anyway, great post! Keep calm and edit later!

    Like

  3. Katie Rivera says:

    Ugh I love this post! But it makes me so sad that I don’t have any writing friends 😦 I think it’s because I’m just bad at networking – I’m super introverted, anxious and socially awkward so it’s hard for me to keep up relationships even if I start out on a good foot with someone. It’s such a bummer, because I know I could definitely benefit from writing friendships. I am trying to be better about it though!

    Liked by 1 person

    • vivianparkinderosa says:

      Honestly, I’m the same. Introverted, anxious, and socially awkward happen to be all three of my middle names. 😉 Sometimes I seek out extraverted writers, because I know they’ll make the effort to reach out to me even if I freak out communications wise. That’s also why I like scheduled events, because they give you something to do together each week. Good luck!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Jen says:

    Would absolutely love a summary weekly update! Particularly a few thoughts you can share about your own writing, or latest books (I find general updates / thoughts more interesting than full blown reviews 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. booksarelife987 says:

    OMG YOUR BLOG IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND PLEASING FOR MY EYES AND I AM
    FANGIRLING SO HARD THAT YOU FOLLOWED ME I JUST NEED SOME TIME TO RECOVER FROM THIS MADNESS.
    Anyways, I wanted to take part in Camp Nano but lol I did not make an account on the site because I did not know anyone and I didn’t want to be in a cabin where I do not know anyone. I think I am doing it the unofficial way I guess? But I haven’t written a single word cause of school so that’s fun. (it’s not)
    Great post! You deserve all of those followers omg ❤ (I am still freaking out)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Cait @ Paper Fury says:

    Ahh YES! Writing friends are absolutely invaluable. ❤ I also think they're just tons of encouragement…like when I feel like my writing sucks or things aren't going to plan, I just whine to my writing friends and they kick me along back into focus. SO KIND. SO LOVELY.😍😂😂 And the feedback is always amazing! One needs feedback to grow/develop as a writer for sure!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. smudgedthoughts says:

    This post is so SO true! Writer friends are honestly the best. It makes the whole process a lot less lonely! 😂 And not to mention the wealth of advice you gain just by having random chats about world building or character development. And THEY ARE ENTHUSIASTIC BETA READERS TOO!!! Which is awesome, because then you know there’s SOMEONE who is eager to read your story! It’s makes a good motivator.

    You know…when you’re not feeling self-conscious about how they’ll react to you killing off that one character… 😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

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